In turning my will and my life over to the care of God (as I understood Him) isn’t always an easy thing to do. I keep taking back control - or did I never fully give it up to begin with?
The key is that I have to stop what it is I’m thinking of, engulfed in, and consumed by in order to begin to see, not to see, but to begin to see, then there is much work to be done to continue to see, and more to continue to see more.
If I need accounting advice I go to my accountant. If I need legal advice I go to a lawyer. And if I need cooking advice, I go to Ms. Ray.. lol. But if I need advice on beating this drinking thing, on becoming recovered from the state that I was in, from escaping death that I was living. Then I go to someone who knows how to count, leagize, cook and get sober. Period.
Do you rely compleyely on self sufficeincy? Or do you have aworking knowledge of the 12 Steps and have you formed a relationship with a Higher Power that works miricals in your life?
If you don’t have the faith, that God is everything, and without Him you have nothing (this is what the steps and the Bog Book teaches us) then you wil continue to hold on to your way, your thinking, and your ego, and you won’t get this. You will go back to you drama and chaos and live a life of futility and misery - ultimately getting dunk or blowing your brains out. This is not the fate that God wants for His child, He wants you to live, be happy, joyous and free, and experience all that He has made for you ioon this life.
“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol…”
The Doctor’s Opinion, xxv-xxxii.
ii
“…that our lives had become unmanageable.”
Chapter 3: More About Alcoholism, 30-43.
If discussion strays from the step being studied, the chairperson will remind you of the purpose of this meeting. It is not the group’s intention to be intimidating or insulting to anyone. We only know that if you are talking about the problem, you cannot possibly be talking about the solution. We reserve the right of the chairperson to limit discussion to he step being studied tonight.
Good evening, everybody, this is the usual ________ night’s meeting of the _______ Men’s (and Women’s) Big Book Step Study Group and we will open the meeting in the usual manner with a moment of silence to do with as you wish.
Living in the solution is the answer to all of your problems. Living in the Soltuion is simply doing the oposite of what you’ve been doing all of your life, living in the problem, suffering, obsessing, agonizing. Your reward for all of that unhealthy living was to have anxiety, anger and depression. Your reward for living in the solution is to have peace of mind, to feel healthy and vibrant, to be spiritually connected and wholly useful.
As a bonified alcoholic, I know first hand that my ego is cunning, baffling and powerful. It doesn’t want to die and will do anything to stay alive and kicking. It manipulates me through my mind and drags me down by suplanting delussional thoughts into my head about anything good that is in my life. And if I do catch on to its game, it changes its mask so I only think its gone, as it resumes it assalt from an alternate angle.