Its all about surrender
If you don’t have the faith, that God is everything, and without Him you have nothing (this is what the steps and the Bog Book teaches us) then you wil continue to hold on to your way, your thinking, and your ego, and you won’t get this. You will go back to you drama and chaos and live a life of futility and misery - ultimately getting dunk or blowing your brains out. This is not the fate that God wants for His child, He wants you to live, be happy, joyous and free, and experience all that He has made for you ioon this life.