In turning my will and my life over to the care of God (as I understood Him) isn’t always an easy thing to do. I keep taking back control - or did I never fully give it up to begin with?
If I need accounting advice I go to my accountant. If I need legal advice I go to a lawyer. And if I need cooking advice, I go to Ms. Ray.. lol. But if I need advice on beating this drinking thing, on becoming recovered from the state that I was in, from escaping death that I was living. Then I go to someone who knows how to count, leagize, cook and get sober. Period.
If you don’t have the faith, that God is everything, and without Him you have nothing (this is what the steps and the Bog Book teaches us) then you wil continue to hold on to your way, your thinking, and your ego, and you won’t get this. You will go back to you drama and chaos and live a life of futility and misery - ultimately getting dunk or blowing your brains out. This is not the fate that God wants for His child, He wants you to live, be happy, joyous and free, and experience all that He has made for you ioon this life.
“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol…”
The Doctor’s Opinion, xxv-xxxii.
ii
“…that our lives had become unmanageable.”
Chapter 3: More About Alcoholism, 30-43.
Good evening, everybody, this is the usual ________ night’s meeting of the _______ Men’s (and Women’s) Big Book Step Study Group and we will open the meeting in the usual manner with a moment of silence to do with as you wish.
As a bonified alcoholic, I know first hand that my ego is cunning, baffling and powerful. It doesn’t want to die and will do anything to stay alive and kicking. It manipulates me through my mind and drags me down by suplanting delussional thoughts into my head about anything good that is in my life. And if I do catch on to its game, it changes its mask so I only think its gone, as it resumes it assalt from an alternate angle.
Someone to have considered themselves done with the work, simply still doesn’t get it. The old solution for us was to drink, the new solution is to not. The old solution for us was to be selfish, the new solution is to be selfless. The old solution for us was to be self-centered, the new solution for us is to be God-Centered. The old solution for us was to be delusional, the new solution for us is to turn our thinking and our will over to the care and understabnding of God and to remain open to His will for us.
I suffer from a spiritual malady that only a spiritual experience can grant me a daily reprieve based soley on my constant effort to enlarge uppon my spiritual life. Half measures avail me nothing. I cannot get sober on yesterdays work, no more than I can get a full stomache on yesterdays meal.
The very first step of Alcoholics Anonymous is the Amit Complete defeat. To admit that we are powerless over Alcohol and that are lives have become unmanagable.
Although we may be excellent and skilled at something like math, or building houses, but in eccense, job intailing these skill encompass much more than the basic skill on a daily basis. A daily basis for living. It would be foolhardy to assume that just cause I can building a house or swing a hammer, that I could run a construction company.
There are people who can do in moderation what people filling the seats at meetings couldn’t stop doing, once they started. But we are not those people.