In turning my will and my life over to the care of God (as I understood Him) isn’t always an easy thing to do. I keep taking back control - or did I never fully give it up to begin with?
The key is that I have to stop what it is I’m thinking of, engulfed in, and consumed by in order to begin to see, not to see, but to begin to see, then there is much work to be done to continue to see, and more to continue to see more.
If I need accounting advice I go to my accountant. If I need legal advice I go to a lawyer. And if I need cooking advice, I go to Ms. Ray.. lol. But if I need advice on beating this drinking thing, on becoming recovered from the state that I was in, from escaping death that I was living. Then I go to someone who knows how to count, leagize, cook and get sober. Period.
Do you rely compleyely on self sufficeincy? Or do you have aworking knowledge of the 12 Steps and have you formed a relationship with a Higher Power that works miricals in your life?
If you don’t have the faith, that God is everything, and without Him you have nothing (this is what the steps and the Bog Book teaches us) then you wil continue to hold on to your way, your thinking, and your ego, and you won’t get this. You will go back to you drama and chaos and live a life of futility and misery - ultimately getting dunk or blowing your brains out. This is not the fate that God wants for His child, He wants you to live, be happy, joyous and free, and experience all that He has made for you ioon this life.
“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol…”
The Doctor’s Opinion, xxv-xxxii.
ii
“…that our lives had become unmanageable.”
Chapter 3: More About Alcoholism, 30-43.
Living in the solution is the answer to all of your problems. Living in the Soltuion is simply doing the oposite of what you’ve been doing all of your life, living in the problem, suffering, obsessing, agonizing. Your reward for all of that unhealthy living was to have anxiety, anger and depression. Your reward for living in the solution is to have peace of mind, to feel healthy and vibrant, to be spiritually connected and wholly useful.
As a bonified alcoholic, I know first hand that my ego is cunning, baffling and powerful. It doesn’t want to die and will do anything to stay alive and kicking. It manipulates me through my mind and drags me down by suplanting delussional thoughts into my head about anything good that is in my life. And if I do catch on to its game, it changes its mask so I only think its gone, as it resumes it assalt from an alternate angle.
Someone to have considered themselves done with the work, simply still doesn’t get it. The old solution for us was to drink, the new solution is to not. The old solution for us was to be selfish, the new solution is to be selfless. The old solution for us was to be self-centered, the new solution for us is to be God-Centered. The old solution for us was to be delusional, the new solution for us is to turn our thinking and our will over to the care and understabnding of God and to remain open to His will for us.
Having no reservations or no lurking notions of any kind. The process that brings us to purpose of being free, the freedom from self, the bondage of self. The self is the selfish needs of a person living in fear, the fear of not getting what we want or what we think we need, a fear that a loving God won’t fulfill these needs if we were to have a faith that works in our life.